Haunted Mansion Tales: Spooky Little Rascals
by swarlock
Summary: Steven W. Warlock relates the tale of how he and Frankiestein, The Half Breed Vampire get jobs at The Haunted Mansion. This is my quirky homage to Hal Roach's Little Rascals.
1. Chapter 1

HAUNTED MANSION TALES: SPOOKY LITTLE RASCALS PART 1 By Swarlock/Co-Authored by Birdy Wilbury

All characters belong to Disney. Steven W. Warlock and Frankiestein and the gang are Swarlock Productions.

It was late and the park was about to close down for the night.  
"Night, Constance!" Steven said to the axe wielding ghost in the attic.

"Wait a minute,Steven,"she said floating out of her animatronic shell for a minute.  
"I found this a little while ago after the last of the tourists came in."

He smiled as he took it from her hand and she quickly dived back into her mechanized self.

"Wow! I haven't seen this in over 100 years," The Warlock said happily.  
"Did I ever tell you how I met the boss, Constance?"

"I don't believe I have," Constance said as she was stroking the strand of pearls on her necklace.

"I love stories!" one of the ghosts from the graveyard flew in.  
"I'd like to hear it too if I may. Caw caw!" The raven chimed in.  
"Me too," another spirit joyfully said.

"Tell you what. Let me take care of something first and I'll come and tell you about it in the foyer," the warlock replied.

It didn't take long for every ghost in the mansion to get wind of the news including The Ghost Host himself. And just like a night around a camp fire, The cast member for the entire attraction told the tale.

"It all started back in The very Early 20's. I was a young squeezer then but old enough to watch over my tin headed friend sitting next to me," he told his captive audience.

"I don't remember any of this, Stevie Boy," Frankiestein said.  
"Well, You wouldn't remember since you were more empty headed then as you are now."

Holding up the photo album so everyone could see it was one of the earliest photos of Steven. The photo was transmogrified into a holographic movie screen.

In the photo was a very small warlock wearing overalls and a beanie cap next to his pal who hadn't gotten his cape yet but still had a goofy look on his face.

"We had just moved from Transylvania the year before and had a hang out in New Orleans and..."

October 31 1922

It was a little bit before All Hallow's Eve in New Orleans and Little Steven and his sidekick, Frankie were fooling around in the murky bayou swamps. Their other friends, Handy the very dapper ghost and Bandy the inquisitive Mummy Boy were watching them engage in some kind of aerial lesson.

Steven was floating in the air while resting on his back while the vampire half breed was trying to lift himself off the ground. He was teaching the little shrimp how to fly.

"I can't do it," Frankie said.

"Try harder, " he said. "You'll get it"

"The important thing to remember is when you fly you have to watch where you're going."

Of course Steven wasn't paying attention and flew in through an open window of a Gothic looking structure and ran right into a young woman and man sitting at a table filled with tarot cards, candles and a crystal ball.

"Oops! Sorry lady!" he said picking up the cards from the floor.  
"Why you little street urchin. You just interupted our seance session. I'll turn you into a toad just out of spite"

"Oh yeah?"

"YEAH!!!"

Leota however hadn't counted on the diminutive warlock to zap up a pocket mirror that counteracted the toad spell.

"That should keep her busy for awhile," he said calmly. "Don't worry. It'll wear off in an hour. Apologies again. Mister...er"  
"Gracey. George Gracey Junior. You'll have to forgive my new medium. I offered her a job. She can be very irritable when she wants to be." he said politely.  
"Nice digs you have here, Mr. Gracey," Steven said looking over the place.

Although it looked spick and span for the moment he could see the beginnings of what the place would eventually become. It'd take some time for the mansion to get that comfortable unlived in look.

"So. Using black magic to bring back the wife, eh?" Steven said. "Not good.  
Mortals like you shouldn't mess with unpredictable things, sir"  
"Oh really. And what would you know about it?" "Well, I did use mine to conjure up the mirror," Steven said.  
"Oh, I see. Just out of professionally curiousity. Can you see into the future? You did know I was trying to resurrect my wife"  
"I can. But not too far ahead though. Haven't learned how to do that well yet. I may look like a young kid but I am older than most humans or supernatural folk think I am. Was born as I was. No two cents about it." Steven said nodding his head confidentally.  
"Splendid," George said pleased. "Then I have a job for you."

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

HAUNTED MANSION TALES: SPOOKY LITTLE RASCALS PART 2  
By Swarlock/Co-Authored by Birdy Wilbury

"When this mansion was in New Orleans I was hired as a gopher at the time.  
Frankiestein was a runner for a book shop that had all sorts of supernatural hoodoo that the boss wanted, " Steven said.  
"Wait a minute. The manse pictured behind you isn't the antebellium one at our sister park out West," one of the ghosts said.  
"My Cousin Anaheim Gracey owns that mansion. Mine was on the opposite side of the town and was modeled after The Packer House a few states away," The Ghost Host said.

"I recall that now. Remember the time I came by for lunch?" Frankiestein said.  
"Yeah. You had a stack of books that day and..."

November 12th 1922

Steven began his job in earnest a month before fetching items for Master Gracey and Madam Leota to use as they contacted more spirits. The "Go-For" Warlock  
couldn't help but notice that the medium was taking advantage of her employer. 

"He's never going to see his wife again," he said to himself with a digusted look on his face. There was no love lost between him and Leota since The Toad Incident. But Steven wasn't afraid of her unlike George Gracey Junior was. Floating up the portrait gallery he hung the last picture of a bearded man who was about to go out with a bang. Of course the mechanism for the room hadn't been implemented yet.

Meanwhile the first spirits and spectors that Leota contacted were coming in through the large grand hall which for the most part was empty. No furnishings except an organ at the very far end and twelve rows of long benches.

There were rows of seats which allowed most of the ghosts to sit on if they so chose. Others simply floated above in the chandelier. The organist was getting ready to play his first selection. An hour later the musical concert stopped and as the musician was turning around to bow. He noticed that half the crowd was asleep.

"This is an insult!!!" The Ghost Organist said infuriated. "I quit!"  
George Gracey was in a dither. Somehow getting the spirits to cooperate wasn't going to be easy.

Madam Leota had the solution for making them attentive to her and only her. "If they aren't going to behave like ghosts then a school should be set up to train these new recruits so that I can use them as fodder against the humans," she thought to herself. "Especially that fool mortal Master Gracey."

So she had Master Gracey send for someone to bring some books from a book store in town. There were several books mixed in the stack Frankenstein brought in. Most of them were Ghost Stories written by The Authors of the day and a second stack of books that was going to a dance studio at the bottom of the hill. The covers were all the same.

Both Steven and his buddy were floating above the chandelier in the grand hall with a plate of sandwiches the cook made for them.

"I hope you hold on to this gig at the book shop, Frankie. At last count you lost five jobs already here in New Orleans," Steven said with a grimace.  
Changing the subject to his current occupation he said to his pal, "So most of them are ghost story books and the other half spell books for the students to study?"  
"Yep, Stevie Boy. Although I see no reason why Leota would want them to be proper ghosts. They should be doing what they always did when they were among the living."  
"Well, There's no call ups for ghosts with high incomes," he said to his buddy.  
"I suppose so. Unless this place becomes a tourist trap at some amusement park," Frankiestein.

Then Frankie's Boocoo watch went off.

"I gotta get back to work.," Frankie said taking off. "Gotta get these books to The Dance Studio."  
"By the way I heard they got in a substitute teacher today. A Miss Samantha I believe," he told Frankie.  
"Why does that name sound familiar?"  
"She's the one with the bossy mother who lives on a cloud in the ethereal plane,"  
Steven answered. "She has a brother who's a practical joker."  
"Oh no! Not Uncle Arthur. I can't stand the old buzzard!" Frankie groaned.  
Showing his vampire friend out he forgot to take the stack Madam Leota had ordered for the students.  
Frankie not knowing which books were which gave Steven the first fifty books from the wagon cart he hauled them in. And off he went.

The little ghoul went down the hill into town where the dance studio was and dropped off the order as instructed. He decided to stay for a bit and see how Samantha was getting on with the class. In the group were his other pals who were taking a shine to her.  
"Ah could wraps mah-self around her fingers. She's durn purty," Bandy The Mummy said with a love sick look on his face.  
"She shore enough is," Handy The Ghost said as well.  
"Hummph! Boys!" Carmen the witch sniffed.  
"Now remember we gotta do everything the teacher sez . We gotta make a good first impression," Larry Lochness told The Gang.  
"Good morning, class!" Samatha addressing the students.  
"Good morning Miss Samantha!!!" they all shouted at the top of their lungs.  
"Since your regular teacher isn't here I thought I'd step in to help. Let me just check what you're suppose to do today."  
Samatha picked up one of the brown books from the stack Frankie brought in.  
"Hmmm! Guess the kids need to be taught the arts of magic and ethereal training," she mused. She could remember how her mother Endora had taught her the same spells when she was younger. Snapping out of her daydream she took to the task at hand.

"All right, Class! For starters who can tell me what happened in The Salem Witch Trials?"  
The students look very perplexed by her question.  
"I guess that's a hard one. Here's a spell for you to try. Lift your arms up as high as you can reach them and twirl it around in a circle."  
One of Bandy's arm wrappings began unraveling and snaked around Samatha's waist.  
"Bandy!!! Cut that out this instant!" she shouted.  
"Can't Miss Samatha. Mah wrappin's got a mind of its own some-tams."  
All of a sudden Bandy's wrappings grabbed the other students and they all got tangled in a huge mess.  
"Dang it. This always happens tah me," Bandy said frustrated.

Back at Gracey Manor, Steven was trying to teach the class how to do ghostly tricks. But every formation he had them do ended in a pirouette or a long leap in the air. He even tried it himself just to be sure. His suspensions about what the ghosts were doing seemed very recognizable. Taking one of the brown books from the table of one of the students he flipped through a page or two and it hit him.

One quick call to the book shop was all it took to get the answer.

At the Dance Studio the phone rang. Frankiestein picked up the receiver.  
"You bungled this job, Mr. Frankiestein! You're fired!!!" his ex-boss shouted.  
The vampire was in shock for a few minutes but then he recovered.  
"Easy come, easy go," he shrugged.

"I must've given Steve the wrong books by mistake," he said aloud.  
"YOU...THINK???" Steven said behind him. "I OUGHTA KNOCK YOUR FANGS OUT!!!"  
"I'm sorry, bud," he profusely apologized.  
Quick explanations were given to Samantha and she consoles him.  
"Cheer up. I know he's mad at you now. He has a gruff exterior but he's an old softie underneath," she says. "I've known him far longer than you have."  
"But how am I going to explain the mixup to Master Gracey?" Frankie asked a bit worried.  
"Why don't we find out right now. Class I have to step out for a minute. Hold that pirouette while I'm out," she said to the group.

They went to the mansion and saw a most amazing thing.

"Wheee! This is fun!" A lady ghost said dancing with her partner, Sir Ronald Frump.  
"This is fantastic. I've never seen them so happy," George said.  
"This was a grand idea to create a dance class. And I have a marvelous idea. Let's turn this part of the mansion into a ball room for our tenants," he said. "We'll have nightly parties here."

The spirits all cheered at that decision.

"And I have you to thank for this, Mr. Franklin Stein, sir," he told the vampire who was stunned at getting such high praise.  
"Thanks, sir," he said pleased with himself. "But call me Frankie. Everybody does - usually."  
He looked at Steven who wanted to call him a lot of other things in front of the crowd around them but he kept his thoughts to himself.  
"I just got a brilliant idea," Samantha said. "Why not hire this fellow to help you out in the mansion?"  
"Great! Now I can work alongside my buddy," Frankie said gleefully.  
"OK. You're on!" Steven said grousing a bit. "But I'm going to keep my eye on you so you don't mess things up."

"And that's how my buddy got the job at The Mansion," he said finishing his story.  
"But what about Madam Leota's original plan?" one of the ghosts queried.  
"Let's just say she was rather teed off about not getting her way which would be bad for our current boss here much later on."  
"I have no idea what you're talking about," she said hearing the accusation.

All 999 ghosts were piqued by this as Steven turned to another page in the photo album.

To be continued... 


	3. Chapter 3

HAUNTED MANSION TALES: SPOOKY LITTLE RASCALS PART 3 By Swarlock/Co-Authrotred by Birdy Wilbury

Turning to the next page there was a photo of Bandy, Frankie and a werewolf with a black eye. The other two got cuts and bruises during the tussel.

"What happened in that photo, Steven?" Phineas asked.

"That was the result of an incident that led Madam Leota to how she is now," he said looking straight at the medium in the crystal ball.  
"That's our prime bully in the picture. A werewolf named Fleabag who always gave us a hard time in the old days. He was smitten with a little witch girl named Carmen at the time. Frankie was too and they were rivals."

"Well, Before any of that occured she was running the mansion in New Orleans after Master Gracey, Our Ghost Host had been...er...terminated. Well, It seems he was well liked by the mortal community and so were the tenants who came here. It was Fleabag who helped get rid of our boss."

"Now I'm confused," Frankie said.  
"Then let me elaborate, pinhead. Come with me everybody."

Steven told the residents to follow him into the balcony of the ballroom.

"This is where the tragic accident took place," he told his audience.

"Oh, Now I remember," Frankie dumbly said. "Wait, Steve. Will our faces get all wavy and ripple like water when you tell this?"

"Yes, Knothead. It's a flashback sequence. Now shut up and let me do the story telling!" Steven snarled.

January 25 1932

The ballroom took a long time to build but once it was completed it was decided that a celebration should take place. Master Gracey decided that his new emplyees Steven W. Warlock and Frankenstein should have the honor of having a small gift for their efforts.

"For your hard work I want to give a small party as a reward. Your little friends can have the whole ballroom to yourselves for the night," he smiled. "But don't tell anybody else about it. Not even Madam Leota"  
"Sure thing, Boss," Steven said. "Ah'll go git the cake an' streamers," Handy said.

Handy decided he needed to spruce himself up for this get together and flew home as fast as he could. It should be duly noted that although Handy was usually dependable enough, he was very bad at keeping secrets.

No sooner had he dived down his haunted shack did he run into another ghost. "Big shindig at Gracey Manor. Can't talk now!" he said frantically.

That was all the other ghost needed to know. He told one ghost who told another...and so on and so on...

By the time the party started three hundred and fifty ghosts showed up. All of them looking for a good time.

Master Gracey was for the most part non-plusse about the gate crashers who dropped in. Still he had to look at the bright side of it. At least the ballroom was being put to good use for once since the 1922 concert that went West.

"With Madam Leota's help in locating my wife Lily she'll make the party more fun," he thought to himself.

If only he knew.

Meanwhile the kids are looking around for some costumes to wear for the shindig.

"Dang. This room smells herrible," Bandy said.  
"Where's it comin' from?" Carmen wanted to know.  
"Hey look, gang!" Steven cried out.

Up in a corner by the wall was a bat caught in a giant cobweb. He was being taunted by a spider who was poking his tummy with great amusement.

"Hey. You leave that feller alone," Frankiestein said shooing the insect away.

Prying the little bat off the cobweb the little nipper was eternally grateful to the little vampire half breed boy.

"Want a bread crumb, little guy?" Frankie said.

The bat bounced up and down with joy hearing this and Frankie set out a small petrie dish with some crumbs on it. "Wow! Lookit him go at it. Just like a little birdy peckin' like a chicken," he said.

Looking up at the person who saved him he nodded his tiny head enthusiastically.

"Then Birdy is who you'll be called from now on," Frankie smiled. "Why not help us search for some costumes to wear at our party, Birdy."

He flew towards a trunk that had 19th Century garb in it. There were civil war uniforms and other trinkets. Then something caught Frankie's eye. It was a journal belonging to Master Gracey himself.

"He probably misplaced it during the building of the mansion," he told the others. "Wouldn't hurt to know a little about our boss."

What they read was far more than they could handle but it was an eye opener to them. He mentioned how he met Leota at a carnival that came into town. George had just gotten married to a beautiful girl who also worked at the establishment as a tight rope walker. Gracey and his new bride Lillian decided to have their fortune told for a lark at her tent. Leota gazed into her crystal ball for a moment and she told them that they were going to have many setbacks and to let a unknown person handle all their savings. Looking into Leota's eyes he could see her for what she was - a con artist looking for a way to make easy money.  
He had words with her and called her bluff. George later learned from some roustabouts on the premises that the gypsy woman had been bilking people out of other people's savings for years with her parlor tricks. The couple went to get their money back but her tent was already gone.

"After we left the carnival for our new home. Strange things started happening. One morning I awoke to see Lily in a transparent state. Had the old woman cast a spell on my beloved to get back at me? I had little time to react as she vanished before my eyes. I was devastated by the loss. the next day Leota came by with an ultimatium. So reluctantly I hired her because she was the only one who could bring her back. I haven't got a prayer in the world if she does anything to me."

"That was mean of her to do," Bandy said. "Wish there wuz a way could help Mr. Gracey git his girl back"  
Frankie said. "I know just how he feels"  
"Yeah. You would," Steven said cynically. "Dames are nothin' but trouble"  
"Haven't ya got a romantic bone in yer body, bud?" Frankie said with a surprised look on his face.  
"I've gotten this far without one Thank You very much," he shot off sarcastically.  
Frankie winced. "Ok. I'm just sayin'."

"Wait a minute!" One of the Tea drinking ghosts interupted. "The portrait in the stretch room of Lily has her walking on a tight rope under a river with an alligator in it. "  
"That painting was done by Leota as a way to taunt me. Her idea of a cruel joke," The Ghost Host pointed out.

Madam Leota said nothing.

"IF I MAY CONTINUE PLEASE!!!" Steven said loudly.

"So the night of the party..."

The ghosts were having a grand old time and so were the kids. Off on a corner stood Fleabag waiting for the right oppportunity to score points with Carmen The Witch. He had weasled his way into the party of spirits just to spite Frankie.

"Hey. Carmen. Why don't you ditch the long earred donkey and hang out with a real swinger," he said to her.  
"Hey. That's my girl yer botherin'," Frankie said jealously.  
Frankie took a swing at the werewolf and he ducked away to the right.  
The vampire boy landed on his face.  
"Why you!"  
"Simmer down, We've got bigger problems than yer girl," Steven said.

"Right! We gotta tell Mr. Gracey about what the old witch did to his wife," Frankie "I believe we won't have to. Look who just came in," Steven said.

As George was in the ballroom watching everyone have a good time.  
Leota showed up.

"So. Throwing a celebration without my constent?" she said in an angry voice. "It's a good thing I had a spy in the mansion."

All eyes turned on Fleabag.

"N-Now see here, Leota. This party for my workers," he said shivering a bit.

"And I'M NOT? I'm the one who helped bring the spirits here! I'm the one you asked to bring back your wife. I am The Lord And Master of this sanctum of The Spirit World. You are nothing! You ALWAYS were nothing! I've been using this mansion as a nexus gate to contact more Goblins and Ghoulies since last Halloween," she boldly stated.

The ghosts stopped dancing and watched the two battle it out.

"You...You never wanted to bring back Lily did you?" Gracey said horrified.  
"Don't be a fool. She could never appreciate what you were. But I saw something in you that I could manipulate for my own ends," she replied.  
"Than all of this has been for nothing"  
"Not...entirely. The reason I've been pulling in the spirits together was to use them as an army for my conquest of The Mortal World," she said with a Machevillian smile.  
"WHAT???" Master Gracey was more shocked than ever.  
"And to add to my power will be this crystal ball which I used to gather the ghosts," Leota laughed manically.  
"No! I won't allow you to do this!" he bellowed.

"Oh! You won't will you? Then how's this for ammunition?"

"George. Help me. Leota has trapped me in The Netherworld," a familar sweet voice echoed from the ball.

"LILY! Let her go. You witch!" he shouted.  
"No. She's my bargaining chip in this whole affair," she scoffed.  
"Then make me a ghost. All I want to do is to be with her," Gracey begged.  
"Oh no! You don't get off that easy," Leota sneered. "Fleabag, you wretched wolf boy. Come here and help me"  
"Yes, Ma'am!!! Sorry Carmen, Duty calls!" and he rushed off.  
"Well, I never!"

"We gotta do something, gang. Our boss is about to be creamed by the evil witch," Steven told them.  
"( got it. I'll use The Double Prong Shock spell. But it's gonna take Frankie, the gang and all the ghosts to help me."  
"What does it do, Steve?" Frankie asked.  
"To be honest. I don't know. All I recall growing up hearing was that it's a complicated and dangerous spell. And it can only be used once."  
he said with a worried look on his face. "If it works we'll save Master Gracey and be rid of Madam Leota for good."

So with the combined effort of the energies from the ghosts in the ballroom, Bandy, Handy, Carmen, Frankie and Steve a great bright light filled the room. No one couldn't see a thing.

"Aaaah! My eyes! It burns!" said one ghost.  
"Turn it off, turn it off!" said another spector panicking.

In the background they heard a loud shattering sound like a thousand wine glasses breaking and a scream that could curdle milk even after its expiration date.

When it was all over. A collective groan could be heard all around as everyone was exhausted from casting such a very intense hex. Fleabag had fainted long before it happened after seeing how the light enveloped everybody in the room.

A few minutes later. They saw a full Lily Gracey standing in front of them and Madam Leota in the crystal ball.

"Let me out of here. You'll pay for this trickery," Leota wailed pityfully.

"Not on your afterlife, Leota," Lily said. And she rolled the crystal ball out of the ballroom making the misty medium feel very disoriented.

"Nice to finally you, Miss Lily," Frankie said shaking her hand.  
"I'm glad to meet you all. It'll be so nice to hold George in my arms again after so long," she said smiling happily.  
"I'm so happy you are all right, my love," Gracey said.  
"Where are you honey"  
"I'm right here," he said. "Where? I can't see you"  
"I'm..." he paused for a moment. "Why do I suddenly have that gone feeling"  
"It sounds like you're everywhere. My honeybear," Lily said.

"Uh...That's because he IS everywhere, Lily," Steven said.  
"I don't understand?" she looked puzzled.  
"Well, See I did say that the magic we were casting was a two prong spell. And...somehow when you got released. Your husband..."

"Oh no!" Gracey cried. "You mean I'm part of the mansion now?"

"I'm afraid so, boss. And I can't use the spell again," he said matter of factly. "If I did then this place would dissapear."

The ghosts all looked at Lily who suddenly had tears in her eyes. But looking at the kids' sorrowful looks softened her. Steven however was too much a gruff fellow to let on he was feeling down too.

"Don't be sad. At least I'm back in the human world again," she smiled.  
"But what will do you now, Lily?" The disembodied Gracey asked.  
"I think..." she said. "I'm going to see the world. I don't know when I'll return but know that I'll do everything in my power to see to it that that this place can never be torn down. We'll be together again, my Ghostly Host."

The ghosts all cheered at the news.

"Hold it! There's one matter to take care of first," Frankie said. "Gotcha, Frank!" Bandy said.

BIFF! PAF! SMACK!!!

Fleabag was given the lesson he deserved. Then another punch square in the eye made it complete.

"What was that for???" Fleabag started sobbing.  
"That's for the next stupid thing you do!" Frankie said.

But now another problem arose.

After the ghosts from the party left they went back to their haunted abodes to find "Condemned" signs plastered all over their houses.

"They plan to make room for freeways on our property," one ghost said angrily to The Ghost Host who was now pretty much The Intelligence of the mansion. "Humans call it Progress. I call it noise pollution," another said.  
"Where will we go? If we don't have houses to haunt. We'll vanish forever," a third ghost said.  
"Then I have a solution," The Ghost Host said. "You are all welcome to stay here for as long as you like. The haunting's free on me."

"The first three hundred and fifty ghosts were so grateful to our boss that they've been here ever since," Steven said as he finished his story.

"But what about Lily," Ezra said. "What became of her?"

"I can answer that," The Ghost Host said. "My dear Lily would never return - not because of what happened to me. I forgave her. I could never keep such a beautiful thing in a guilded cage. She'd fall in love with another - a fellow named Walt. He would be very instrumental in making certain the mansion could never be torn down."

"How so?" Little Leota asked.

"Well. You all pretty much know THAT story. It all started because of a mouse."

To be continued...


	4. Chapter 4

HAUNTED MANSION TALES: SPOOKY LITTLE RASCALS PART 4 By Swarlock/Co Authored by Birdy Wilbury 

Steven had all the ghosts in rapture as he continued looking through the album.

"Hey, Frank. Remember this one?"

"Oh yeah. The Soapbox Derby contest," he smiled. "That's how Walt decided which mansion he wanted at Disneyland which came twenty seven years later."

"He made Mickey a big star and later branched out by doing more films. Then walking through an amusement park one day he got the idea of making one of his own. We owe Lily a debt of thanks for this one," Steven said.

September 30th 1942

The mansion now under the control of The Ghost Host was busier than ever. As more freeways were being made more abandoned houses were torn down leaving many wayward ghosts out in the cold. Madam Leota retained some of her power but only enough to contact the spirits who chose to come rather than being commanded to.

Word got around about a famous movie producer looking for ideas for a new project he was working on. Arriving in New Orleans he had sent out researchers to investigate the supernatural elements of Lousiana.

Looking at The Antebellum Mansion near the bayou a brilliant notion popped into his head.

"So boss. Is this gonna be the model for your Spook House attraction?" a construction worker asked.  
"No. This place IS going to be the attraction," Mickey's employer said happily. "Send somebody to do the paperwork so we can ship it off to Anaheim, California."  
"What about the one on the hill above The Dance Studio?" a mover named Hal asked.  
"Didn't think there was another one on the other side of the neighborhood," Mister W said. "Go check it out."  
"Right, Boss," Hal said and off he went.

Meanwhile the new arrivals, about 680 of them were being shown to their rooms in The Corridor Of Doors.  
"Make yerselves at home, gang!" Steven said. "Wow! Like this place is bee-autiful. Kinda wild and freaky," Willy The Wisp said. He was a For Real beatnik long before the term was ever used.  
"When do the humans come around? I'd like to get out there and spook everybody," Phineas Pock said.  
"Don't worry, pal. You'll get your chance. Just don't scare them too much. They have to WANT to stay here if they choose," Steven cautioned the ghost.  
"For that matter, I might as well thumb a ride out of town," Phineas said a little disgruntled.  
"What? You're gonna follow them home or something?" Frankie said jokingly.

Steven shook his head in disbelief.

"That's not a bad idea at that. We'll give the mortals a tour of this mansion and promote this place as a retirement home for ghosts," The Ghost Host said.

There was a knock at the door and Frankie went to get it.

"Someone taped a note to the door, Boss," Frankie said.  
"Read it." The Ghost Host said excitedly.

"We are looking to buy your property to use as part of our new family entertainment center. Please meet us at 1313 Dreary Drive to discuss the details."

"I'll select a few people to come with me to see into this matter," The Ghost Host said.  
"How can he come with us when he's part of the house?" Frankie asked.  
"In extreme times his essence can rematerialize into his past self," Bandy said.  
"You mean he can come back as a baby?' Frankie asked.

Steven zapped up a newspaper and whacked him over the head with it.

"You chose now to say something remotely stupid in front of the boss," The warlock said to his buddy.

"In a word. Yes I can rematerialize as my former self Master Gracey but for a short period of time. To the rest of the world I shall be The Ghost Host of The Haunted Mansion," he said in a polite pleasant manner.

The Ghost Host selected six representative to come with him to the meeting. Himself, Steven W. Warlock, Frankiestein, Phineas Pock, Little Leota and The Organist. When they got there however they saw six other ghosts next to Walt talking about his plans.

"Hold it a minute. We were given the same note on the door too. That means we get to go to California. Not you guys," Frankiestein said.  
"Are you out of your slab, Vampire Boy? We're gettin' that gig," One of the ghosts said.

This argument went on for some time until...

"Enough! This is pointless. What we need is a contest to decide who gets to go to my new park which I'm going to have done in the future. Any suggestions?" Walt said.

"I have an idea," Frankie spoke up.

"Look out! When Frankiestein gets an idea it's usually a dangerous thing," Steven said mocking his friend.  
"How about a Boxcar Derby Race?" he said.  
"How about I stretch those pointy ears of yours into your backside?' said one of the ghosts.  
"Wow! First time you've ever had a brilliant idea that good," Steven said to Frankie.  
"Then a boxcar derby race is it," Walt said.

Fleabag who had been humiliated during the Ballroom fiasco a couple of years before had joined the team that was competiting with The Ghost Host's team. He decided to "help" his group win by any means possible. So he went through Madam Leota's remaining trinkets in a drawer to see if he could find anything useful to use.

And then he saw it.

In a small box was an emerald embedded in a ring. There was also a book that had among other things the history of the objects she had gathered over the years.

"The Fregosi Emerald: In 1623, Duke Ferdinand Fregosi born Werewolf Junction, Translyvania was a rich farmer who cast a spell on an emerald to give bad luck to anyone who wears it. In his last days he wore the emerald but found that the curse he put on it was even too much for him as he couldn't remove it. Ferdinand barely got it off after creating a counterspell to reverse its effects. Unfortunately he didn't have time to complete the incanation choking during the last part of the curse removal. Every Fregosi in the family chain had misfortune with it and then it fell into the Hands of Jack The Ripper.

That was all Fleabag had to know. He placed the ring back into the box and waited until the next day to put his plan into the wetworks.

Tomorrow came sooner than the wink of an eye as Frankiestein was busy putting the finishing touches on the derby car Handy and Bandy would race in. The car parts were gathered from places around the neighborhood. The front end consisted of the grill from a hearst his Uncle Herman and Aunt Lily had lying around while the back was a make shift version of a Haunted House on wheels donated by The Creepy Coup Family. His other Uncle named Fester gave him headlights and his Grandpa M gave him some exilir that also served as fuel for the car. Not that he really needed it with Birdy in the hood peddling his little feet off.

The half breed changed into a tiny bat to reach a small screw that needed to be tightened under the bottom of the race car when he saw two wooly feet standing over him.

"Hi, There. Ol' Buddy!" Fleabag shouted.  
"Owww!" Frankie shouted as he bumped his head under the vehicle. Rolling out he had a look of suspicion on his face.  
"What are you up to, ya big jerk?" he asked him with a look of contempt on his face.  
"What makes you think I have anything up my sleeve, pal. So we got off on the wrong foot all those years ago. To make it up to ya. I have a present you can give to your girl Carmen," Fleabag said handing him the ring.  
"Well, I don't know"  
"Give it to her on a picnic before the race. She'll be eternally grateful to you," Fleabag smiled a fake smile.  
"I guess yer a good egg after. She'll really love this ring," Frankie grinned as he put it in his pocket.  
Fleabag rubbed his hands cackling all the way back to the other team.

Steven was watching this from a distance and after the wolf boy bully left turned to his buddy with a look of disgusted dissapointment on his face.  
"You really take the cake you know that. What did Fleabag give you that was so important?" he asked.  
"This ring with the green emerald on it. Looks cool doesn't it?" he said.  
"Glad to know you and him will be sharing a life together," Steven said sarcastically.  
"This is for my girl friend, ya nut," Frankie said insulted by Steven's jab.  
"Humph! Anything Fleabag gives you makes more trouble for you as well as me," he reminded his scatterbrained friend. "You can keep it for now. Go on. Get outta here! Have lunch. We're gonna need our strength for the race today."

A little later Frankiestein and his ghoul friend are having a picnic in the cemetery in back of the mansion. The singing busts decide to spring into a serenade to get Frankie and Carmen into a romantic mood after they finished eating.

"Before we do anything I have a present for you," Frankie said to Carmen.  
"Oh, Frankie. What a beautiful ring," she squealed. "I'll put it on much later. Right now. Let's eat."

Digging into the sandwiches she made Frankie couldn't help but comment on its unusual flavor.  
"This is a pretty crunchy sandwich," he said. "It tastes just like sand from the beach"  
Carmen was confused by his words and bit into one of the delicacies herself.

She spit it out of her mouth immediately.

"This isn't a sandwich. It's kitty litter!!!" she screamed.

Hearing this, her boyfriend spit the rest out of his mouth into a glass of water that suddenly became mud.

Carmen screamed her lungs out almost taking a sip.

But the worst was yet to come as Monster Ants the size of a Chijuajua came trumping and stumping all over the blanket with Carmen's food on it.

"Must be from Texas," Frankie said trying to bring some levity to a picnic lunch that was quickly unraveling.

She wasn't laughing.

"What else could go wrong?" Frankie said.

KABOOOOM!!!

The sky became overcast as the food and blanket got washed away into the mud where the hearst was sinking.

"You're a jinx. I'm NEVER going out with you again," Carmen fumed. "And here's your ring back."

She overshot Frankie's hand and it landed in the race car fuel tank which Birdy was in and swallowed it whole.

"Aww. Honey bunch. Wait," Frankie said as he was about to go after her and give her the ring.

"Hey, Frankenstein. Stop fooling around. We've got work to do," Steven shouted from the starting line.

The race was about to start. A crowd of race car fans were in the bleachers cheering. Most of them twice removed Aunts, Uncles and Cousins from The Old Country. Lily and Herman, Grandpa, Eddie and Maryln along with Burp, Slurp, Sigmund, Witchypoo, Frank, Drac, Wolfie, Gomez and Mortica were watching the drivers rev up their engines.

"On your mark..." Phineas said holding a flag up. "Get set..." The car Handy and Bandy were in was as tight as a bullet.  
"GO!!!"

The second car took off down Dead Man's Curve while Bandy and Handy's boxcar was smoking up a storm.  
"Give 'er The Choke, Handy," Bandy The Mummy shouted.  
From inside the boxcar tiny hands were grasping about Birdy Bat's neck. It caused him to speed up twice as fast as the little car took off faster than a Road Runner with jet skis.

But an hour into the race the makeshift boxcar was overheating. Handy and Bandy took a look under the hood to Birdy puffing, puffing and wheezing his heart out. His sweat caused the engine to flood up.

"Ewww!" the two racers said as they went into convulsions.

Composing themselves they called in Frankenstein to peddle the rest of the way. His pet bat sat with Bandy and Handy in the car and suddenly he got the hiccups. The boxcar for some unexpected reason starting jumping every few feet with every hiccup Birdy let out. Frankie was pretty banged up inside the where the motor peddles were.

They were almost at the finish and it was at that moment that the Fregosi Emerald Ring got lodged out of Birdy's throat and into the backseat of the boxcar Fleabag and the other driver were in. The wheels of their car came off instantly. So did Handy and Bandy's as well.

"You're inches away from winning the race, guys. Push the car across the finish line!" Steven screamed.  
They did and everyone cheered.

But to his surprise and the Ghost Host's as well. Frankenstein's inexplicable Code Of Honor reared its head at that moment and he decided that Fleabag should win instead of them.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU PINHEAD!!!" Steven said. He was boiling mad.

The crowd cheered even louder as Fleabag and his driver went up to get their trophy and the reward of having their mansion moved to California.

"And to think I owe it all to the ring I found in Madam Leota's drawer," Fleabag bragged.  
"I fixed it so your piece of automotive junk would fall apart. I didn't count on your stupid little pet swallowing it though."

"Is that right?" Walt said. "Well in that case. You're disqualified for cheating."

The Ghost Host and his six players in the game were thrilled by the news. It looked like they were on their way to making The Haunted Mansion the showcase it was meant to be.

"What happened to the ring?" The Diminutive Wathiel R. Bender asked.

"After the race was over Frankie gave it to his Uncle Grandpa for safekeeping. He decided not to tell Herman and Lily how he originally found it of course," Steven answered.

"Wait a minute. Technically you won because of a fluke. How did this mansion get here instead of out West?" Wathiel asked.

"That's a story in itself," the warlock answered.

He flipped to other photo in the album.

To be continued...


	5. Chapter 5

HAUNTED MANSION TALES: SPOOKY LITTLE RASCALS

By Swarlock/Co-Authored by Birdy Wilbury

Steven turned to the next page which showed The Haunted Mansion being moved on a very long truck. Each individual piece was placed in on several platforms like frieght cars from a train. Everything from the attic to the bat weather vane were sorted by weight, height and size.

"So at the end of the last story you told us how you won the contest. Tell our friends how we got here, Stevie Boy," Frankie said.

"Originally we were gonna go to California but then..."

November 26 1942

The contest was over and The Ghost Host and his family of Happy Haunts were celebrating the victory with another party. Walt attended as well now that he had a Spook House for his new park called Disneyland which would be built much later.

Not everyone was happy of course but they had to resignate themselves to their fate being stuck in New Orleans for a long time to come. Fleabag chief among the members in The Antebellum Mansion.

"Are you gonna let those upstarts get away with this?" a ghost named Fred said.  
"But we lost. Let it go," Fleabag said in defeat.  
"We have a chance to fix their wagon but good. Tell me. What's worse than being in a bayou swamp in New Orleans?" Fred asked the little wolf boy.  
"Making the spiders walk around without two legs"  
"No! Being in Florida with all that swampland," he said. "Remember Walt said he was choosing one mansion to be a part of his new theme park. We'll have it all if we play our cards right. We might even get a movie deal out of this whole thing."  
"If that ever happens I'll be the first to walk out of the theater if it doesn't focus on us folks from The Old Country," Fleabag said thinking about it.  
"Then this is what we'll do."

Back at the other mansion. The Ghost Host and the others were getting things sorted and packed away for the long trip which would take three to four days to complete. The last thing to be done was to take out the busts in the library once the ghost story books were boxed up.  
"Man. This is gonna be great!" one of the busts said. It was one of the stone faced ones on the top shelf.  
"It sure will be," Frankie said walking in.  
Steven and the busts gave him an incredulous look.

"What...is...that...getup?" Steven asked.  
"My shades, Buddy Boy," he replied. "I'm gonna make a big splash in Hollywood workin' with only the best. We might even get a movie deal out of this gig."  
"That'll be the day. I dread what people will think of this place after the film comes out," the warlock said.  
He knew that there would be a movie based on this place in the future. Hopefully Walt would be around long enough to see it done right.

Meanwhile Walt was in the process of getting the truck set up with the platforms to haul away the pieces of The Ghost Host's Haunted Mansion to California. "OK, Hal. Take this clipboard and go to where the platforms are being stored. I'll be there in a few minutes and"  
"Mr. D, Phone call for you. It's from a Real Estate Firm in Florida," a clerk said.  
"On it," he said.  
Walt took the call in private and came back a few minutes later. He instructed Hal to oversee the rest of the project as he would be in Florida settling some business concerning his summer home.  
"Perfect!" Fleabag said hanging up the phone. "Now what do we do?" said Fred.  
"We go down to the train yard and pose as an engineer getting ready to pull out when Hal shows us the order sheet. When he's not lookin' I'll switch the orders around. Then we'll meet Walt in Florida. It's a good thing Auntie Leota let me use her transfigjration spell to diguise us as a human. It'll only work on Walt and he won't noticed the difference."

No sooner had Mr D taken a plane out to Florida that they arrived in front of his summer home. Waiting patiently, they past the time scaring the locals around the neighborhood. And just as they spooked another human out of the joint Walt came up.

"So what's this about buying the land my summer home is on?" he asked.  
"See it's like this, sir. I'm selling off the houses to a movie company in California so that the property will be more open. As you can see this place has enough room and space for the ideas your little heart can dream of - like say a second park," Fleabag lied.  
"Hmm! Now there's an idea," he thought.  
"I have the lease forms which I brought along with me," The "Real Estate" Man said politely.  
"Tell you what I'll do. You can take the houses out of the area but mine gets put in the second park on the side. Hold these papers while I go get a pen from my car."  
Fleabag looking at the lease noticed there was one for California with the notations for The Ghost Host's mansion to be sent over. Quickly he scribbled out the transaction number for California and inserted one for where they were standing.  
Walt came back with his pen and a camera which Frankenstein had loaned him.

"Just as proof of the deal I'd like to take a photo of us signing the forms and shaking hands on the agreement," he told the fake buyer.  
"Sounds fair enough," he replied.

"I'll wire this to Hal and he'll take care of it," Walt said after the documents were signed.

After waving goodbye to Walt Fleabag and Fred got off their disguises and got in touch with Madam Leota through their own crystal ball. It was relatively easy for them to contact her. They were in a cave across from the riverbank.

"So did everything go as planned?" she spoke.  
"Yep. We're on our way to California with your help," he said. "But won't the others find out what we did?"  
"Considering that I'm stuck in the crystal ball back here in New Orleans and will be going to Florida, this will pay The Ghost Host back for the humilation I suffered at that party."  
"What did you want us to do with Walt's house?" the werewolf said.  
"It doesn't matter to me. Stick it near the river and turn it into a Promanade or something," she snarled.  
Fleabag saluted Leota and went off to do the dirty deed.  
"Oh! And by the way, Good luck in your scheme to embarass Frankiestein and Steven," he said poking his head into the entrance of the cave and then left.

Leota just smiled a twisted evil smile knowing full well that she never believed in luck to get her own way.

To be continued...


End file.
